PRESENTATION
Alive or Dead
By: Nora Spinaio
(This can be a sermon starter or a stand alone. How do you tell if your local church is dead?)
Characters:
Question –male or female.
Mr.Church. –male or female.
Mr.Church. –male or female.
Props: Use a spotlight if available.
(Question and Mr/Ms Church come in from opposite sides of the stage. They stop DS facing one
another being sure that the audience has ¾ view).
Q: Hello, Mr. Church
M.C.: Hello.
Q: Are you alive or dead?
M.C.: (makes open-armed motion) Alive, can’t you see?
Q: Are you alive or dead?
M.C.: (points to self) Alive, here I am.
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: Alive, I’ve grown so large you know. (takes a half step toward M.C.) Are you blind, Mr. Question?
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: What do you mean?
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: Alive, you’re very frustrating, you know. (crossing arms and taps foot)
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: Alive or dead? What do you mean? (stomps foot as if a child and motions wildly) I’m
still standing here aren’t I? I’m here with my building funds and special music for Easter
and Christmas. No one could doubt it, could they?
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: (almost yelling) Look at my finances, can’t you? I am well.
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: I cannot prove to you that I’m alive anymore than I have.
Q: Alive or Dead?
M.C.: Alive. (beat) Though, I haven’t touched any souls of late.
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: (softer) Alive. Though, I haven’t grown…lately.
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: Alive? (shakes head as if not believing it anymore) I haven’t felt the Spirit in quite some
time.
Q: Alive or dead?
M.C.: Dead
(lights down)
Are You Home, God?
(A Sermon Starter)
(A Sermon Starter)
By: Nora Spinaio
Stage: No special setting is needed, just the piano, baptistery, pulpit, the first pew, the altar, and a
Cross –the larger the better.
Props:
Pick
Newspaper
Plastic Bag
2 coins
Bible
Lighting: Only platform lights are on
Sound: Use a lapel microphone
Cast:
1 woman- adult, dressed as a homeless person in jeans, old sweater, cap
Are You Home, God?
(Woman on opposite side of stage door left shakes the door as if picking the lock. The woman enters
hugging herself for warmth and slips a pick in her pocket.)
Monologue:
Use newspapers for warmth they said. Bunch of liars.
(Moves to CS and pulls newspaper out from under sweater and pulls off cap. Puts it all in a plastic bag
and drops the bag to the floor.)
Warmer in here though.
Wonder if anyone’s here? (Looks around nervously) Hello, hello, anyone?
(With no answer)
Good.
Go to Kentucky they said, warmer than Chicago, less crowded than Los Angeles or New York, the
panhandling’s easy. Idiot that I am, I hopped a train.
(Pops herself in the head.)
So, here I am in the middle of nowhere land in the middle of a Kentucky winter.
(Pulls a couple of coins from her pocket.)
Out all day and made a whole 50 cents. (Shrugs)
Good thing I ate yesterday. (Puts the coins back and looks around the sanctuary.)
When I was a little girl, grandpa told me God lived at church. I wonder if God lives in this one.
(Loudly) God? Are you home, God?
No answer. I guess he stepped out.
(Paces across the stage. Touches the piano.)
Music. (Touches the keys) Can’t be all bad if he likes music. (Beat)
Wonder what else God has at home. (Looks into the baptistery) What’s with the big hole in the floor?
Plenty big for a bathtub. No soap though. (Sniffs) Sure could use a bath.
(Moves toward pulpit and stands behind it.)
Wonder if this is where God speaks. (Raises finger) Don’t do this, don’t do that. (Beat) Rather be free
myself.
(Walks down to the first pew) What’s with the weird chairs? Looks good enough to sleep on. I wonder if
God sleeps here.
(Turns and see the altar) Funny looking bench.
(Spots a Bible on the alter and, looks at the title) Holy Bible, wonder what’s so holy about it? (Sits on the
altar and opens it, closes it, looks around.)
So, God lives here, uh? I’d expect more. (Shrugs)
(Sees the cross and goes to it)
What’s up with that? It looks like a crooked X. Oh, yeah, I’ve seen these before. They call them crosses.
Wonder what it’s doing here.
Sure wish God was home. I got a question or two for him.
Some world he made—too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer, and some of the meanest people
you ever met.
Yep, I got more than one bone to pick there. (Loudly) Hey, God, you at home? (Beat) Guess not. Sure is
nice and warm in here though.
Hey God, if you’re here, I could sure go for some food. (Rubs stomach) Sure do wish he’d get home.
(Beat)
Home
(Beat)
I remember home. I remember a warm bed. (Rubs her arm) and clean-clean clothes, clean me, clean
house. (Wipes dirt from sleeve) And, I remember having more than I could eat.
(Sighs, moves to CS, paces, looks around again)
(Loudly) God you home yet? I really want to talk to you about my life.
Everything was fine until the drugs and the booze. I was moving right on up that latter of success. Lots of
money and lots of friends. (Beat)
Stupid me. I got caught and then I got canned. Lost everything. (Bops hand against her head). Stupid.
Stupid. Stupid.
(Louder) Hey, God you here yet? I need to talk to ya. Maybe God only lives in Grandpa’s church.
(Sits down)
Sure am tired. Sure is warm in here. (Yawns and closes eyes)
(Beat)
(Hears a noise and jumps up.)
Someone’s coming.
(Grabs plastic bag and exits same way as entered.)
Lately
By: Nora Spinaio
Setting: A single chair placed center stage. You can use a spotlight.
Props: A book
Sound: 2 mics –one should be a lapel mic if available
Cast:
1 –Adult (M or F)
1—Adult Male (Offstage)
1—Adult Male (Offstage)
Lights
Jo is sitting and reading a book.
God: What have you done for me lately Jo?
Jo: (Looks up briefly from the book.)
Oh, hello Lord. Well, I helped raise money for missions in ’88.
(Starts reading again)
God: What have you done for me lately?
Jo: (Looks up from the book again. Thinks for a second.)
I prayed for my neighbor in ’90 and umm…’91, I think.
God: But, what have you done for me lately?
Jo: I went on a witnessing trip in ’92.
(Switches sitting positions in the chair.)
God: What have you done for me lately?
Jo: (Leaves the book open but ignores it.)
I….um…..well….Lord…I um…oh, yes, I painted the set for the Christmas program in ’99.
God: What have you done for me lately, Jo?
Jo: (A little frustrated.)
Why do you keep asking me that, Lord? I do go to church every Sunday morning and almost every Sunday night. I give in the offering and I never argue with the preacher….to his face anyway. (Pause) Hey, I’m doing my part.
God: (Gently)
You do all of those things for you. What service have you given to your neighbor or your church or your community in my name? Where have you shown my Love? Have you been a peacemaker? An encourager? A teacher? Have you given to the poor? Have you given a cup of water in my name?
Jo: But…Lord.
(Changes positions in her chair again.)
God: Jo, do you love me?
Jo: Well, Lord, let me tell you. (Pauses)
(Rises from chair and puts the book down.)
Guess it’s time for me to go find something to do for you, uh.
God: I love you too, child.
Lights
Wise Guy
(A Christmas Skit by Nora Spinaio)
The police have one of the wise men in custody.
3 characters:
Cop: Think old the fashioned cop who wears a hat.
Bodyguard: Think enforcer, stands with hands crossed, and wears sunglasses.
Wise guy: Think attitude, wears a jacket and wears his hat tilted back.
The cop and the wise guy are sitting on opposite sides of a table. The bodyguard is standing a little
behind the wise guy.
Lights up
Wise guy: I didn’t do nothin’.
Cop: (motions to bodyguard) What about him?
Wise guy: He didn’t do nothing neither.
Cop: Yeah, right. (Leans forward) So, where exactly were you on the day in question?
Wise guy: I forget.
Cop: (Leans back) Right, you forgot. You were seen.
Wise guy: Where?
Cop: Visiting a baby under a star. Why were you there and why did you bring him presents?
Wise guy: Presents? Who says?
Cop: Mayor Herod’s men say you brought the baby presents.
Wise guy: Herod jealous uh? Figures he’d hire a bunch of snitches.
Cop: The Mayor’s been looking for you for this.
Wise guy: He’s got no reason to pinch us.
Cop: Answer the questions.
Wise guy: What are you so worked up about a baby for?
Cop: I’ve got my orders. Answer the questions.
Wise guy: Alright. We were sent to that baby see. We rode for weeks and weeks. We were told to
follow his star and worship him when we got there. We were told to bring him stuff.
Nothing fell off a truck. We brung him frankincense, gold, and myrrh. So what’s it to ya,
cop? A man’s got a right to his religion, ain’t he?
Cop: Not according to Mayor Herod.
Wise guy: Herod’s got no beef with us. We got our own boss.
Cop: You gave him the slip. He’s not too happy about that.
Wise guy: Why? I got no interest in Herod. I’m no enforcer.
Cop: It’s not you he’s afraid of.
Wise guy: Well then, who… (thinks a second and laughs)…Herod’s an idiot.
Cop: (Furious) You will NOT speak that way about Mayor Herod.
Wise guy: That baby ain’t no threat to Herod. (Leans back in chair)That kid’s the savior of the
world. Herod can’t take him out. So, I figure that makes Herod an idiot. You follow
Herod. What‘s that make you?
Lights down
Idols Like Us
(A parody of singing competitions)
By: Nora Spinaio
(How we perceive ourselves has very little to do with how Jesus perceives us.)
Characters:
3 judges (any age male or female)
Contestant 1: Overconfident in his abilities
Contestant 2: Has an attitude that he deserves the prize.
Contestant 3: Has a humble spirit and is just trying to do Jesus’ will.
Props:
Table and chairs
Phone
Mic
Note:
It’s not important if the singers are good singers. It’s important that they portray their
characters well. Many singers who cannot actually sing well have fans. Also, try this skit
with a little extra melodrama.
At rise
(Three judges are sitting on one side of a table. The first contestant is standing facing them. Two other
contestants are sitting on the other side of the stage facing the judges.)
Judge 1: Why are you here?
Contestant 1: (overconfident) I am the greatest singer in the entire universe and I will be very famous.
(Judges nod but are unconvinced.)
Judge 2: What are you singing for us today?
Contestant 1: I will be singing my version of Amazing Grace.
(Begins singing a couple of lines of Amazing Grace.)
Judge 3: That was magnificent!
Judge 2: You are the greatest singer in the universe.
Judge 1: I agree. You will become very famous for your beautiful singing.
Contestant 1: But, of course, the universe will fall at my feet.
(Contestant 1 bows slightly and walks back to the other contestants.)
(Contestant 2 goes in front of the judges.)
Judge 1: Why are you here?
Contestant 2: I am the greatest entertainer in the world and I will become very rich by using my lovely
singing voice.
Judge 2: What are you singing today?
Contestant 2: I will be singing my rendition of the favorite Peace In The Valley.
(The judges nod unconvincingly and contestant 2 begins to sing.)
Judge 3: That is lovely beyond words.
Judge 2: You are the greatest entertainer in the world.
Judge 1: You will become rich as you use your exquisite voice for all to hear.
Contestant 2: Yes, I will entertain all of humanity.
(Contestant 2 takes a deep bow and returns to sit by the other contestants).
(Contestant 3 goes in front of the judges.)
Judge 1: Why are you here?
Contestant 3: I’m here because I want to sing for the Lord and spread his word with my voice.
(Judges shake their heads.)
Judge 2: What are you singing today?
Contestant 3: I’m singing Jesus Loves Me.
(The judges nod unconvincingly and contestant 3 begins to sing with passion.)
(Judge 1 holds up hand in the middle of a stanza and stops the singer.)
Judge 2: Absolutely not.
Judge 3: NO.
Judge 1: You have nothing that the universe wants in a singer. You sound horrible and you have
no natural gift as an entertainer.
(Phone rings and judge 1 answers.)
Judge 1: Hello (beat)
Yes? (beat)
Alright you’re the boss. I’ll tell them.
(Judge 1 looks around in disbelief.)
Judge 1: He says that contestant 3 gets the singing contract. He says the other two need to go
home
(Contestant 1 and 2 jump out of their chairs.)
Contestant 1: I have never been so insulted in all my life. (stomps offstage like a child who didn’t get
his way)
Contestant 2: I quite agree. This whole thing has been a complete waste of all my time and talent.
(storms offstage with his/her nose in the air.)
Judge 2: No. (in near shock) He can’t mean it.
Judge 3: No.
Judge 1: (looks at contestant 3) The Great Judge and Lord of all says to send you to Nashville.
(shakes head) I can’t say I understand it.